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Earlier today through the services of an interpreter we established a psychic uplink to a Jawa Shaman named Jawa Utility to get her 6 point plan on surviving the recession and coming out ahead of the curve. Each point relates potential earnings and savings. 
1.Salvaging broken military equipment in Iraq.
Jawa Utility was quick to say how impressed she was as a scavenger with firms like Halliburton and Blackwaterwho had scavenged massive amounts of money in Iraq for doing very little and in many cases nothing at all. She suggested budding entrepreneurs should view the deserts of Iraq through Jawaian eyes as a familiar sandy terrain and virtual gold mine of scrap metal with the debris of two Gulf wars and the occupation wastefully rusting in the sun just begging to be recycled. She also pointed out that a significant percentage of the miltary vehicles in Iraq were inoperable because of sand damage and therefore fair game as well as US civilian contractors paid scant regard to the question of actual ownership and the Pentagon didnt seem to care.
Money to be made: there is a high global demand for scrap metal, particularly from china and a niche market in refurbished military vehicles including armour.
Savings: liberating ' lost' Iraqi and US government property would help save the natural desert environment but Jawa Utilty said the biggest saving , almost a trillion dollars , would be to stop recycling pain and hatred and end the occupation and the war. 2. Alternative to Instability in Housing Market
Drawing on life on her planet Tattooine Jawa Utilty advised first time buyers and those struggling to keep up their mortgage payments to try to salvage enough scrap to trade for a genuine Jawa Sand Crawler , dedicated salvaging vehicles that also double up as cheap and spacy mobile homes. Although the Jawa have yet to sell their Sand Crawlers through e-bay they do have trade fairs once a year at which Sand Crawlers are swapped for scrap.
Money to be made: Sand Crawlers essentially pay for themselves if those who live in them remain in the salvaging, recycling and repairs business
Savings: stress, mortgage default, house loss, eviction, family break up, despair, depression, homelessness and suicide
3 Establishing Independent Financial Consultancies
The Jawa have an interesting ethical approach to theft, they'll steal anything with the keys left in it as long as it doesn't bring their clan into disrepute .So, the Jawa wouldn't steal a disabled person's mobility wheelchair with the keys in it, for instance, if the person had no legs and was very obviously totally dependent on the vehicle. The Jawa have more trouble with greyer areas of property ownership. Based on this firm ethical code, Jawa Utility suggested that people could replace the unprecedented number of registered financial advisers bailing out and selling up their businesses because of the recession and advise major institutions like Citigroup and Bear Steams who also have a very lax approach to theft, embezzlement and having others pay for their mistakes.
Money to be made : the financial markets are rotten to the core, name your own price
Savings: off shore or Swiss bank account and zero office rental and overheads if consultancy is registered from a toilet in some offshore tax haven.
4. Water Conservation Scheme
The Jawa make a habit of not bathing and retain moisture in their sackcloth cloaks and cowls and their water saving efforts could be used in projects targeted at Green audiences and consumers paid for out of public funds. The Rev Mathus, a 19th century population theorist beat the Jawa to advise poor people against taking baths but he was more interested in the poor catching diseases and dying than saving water as he thought there was far too many of them anyway. Jawa Utility also thought there was scope for designing moisture retaining clothes but had some difficulty understanding that humans do not like the smell of let alone the taste of their own sweat.
Money to be made: Governments and Grant Awarding bodies hurl cash at anyone who can string a couple of sentences together and call it a Green bid.
Savings: It is horrifically expensive to recycle water or purify saltwater. Jawa Utility suggested that countless lives could be saved if water was treated as a precious finite resource and shared around on the basis of need not greed nor creed.
5..Removing Women From the Workplace
Jawa Utility explained that on Tattooine women were treated as mere chattels and were traded every year at the Sand Crawler fairs. She said that many males from earth would probably like their women to stay at home and wash their filthy underwear for them and do the child rearing and that this was normal where she came from except if the women were psychotic in which case they hallucinated and spoke in tongues and were immediately revered as visionaries, seers and sages. The Jawa have no concept of PMS.
Money to be made: uncertain but it was felt men would go in for the wife swapping anyway.
Savings: although its thought that women might somehow contribute to the economy through working Jawa Utility argued that the cost of not installing modesty boards on desks and reducing calls unrelated to work being made from the office each day would offset this conribution, whatever it was. 6 Feeding the World
The Jawa have a highly efficient digestive system which is able to extract maximum nutrition from the humble Hubba Gourd. Jawa Utility suggested that the cheap , stable and quick growing Hubba Gourd would be ideal for tackling the world hunger problem as its availability wasn't subject to speculation or the vagaries of the market. She also felt the Hubba Gourd Diet Plan could be turned into an international best seller but was puzzled that half the world was starving while the other half ate too much and struggled to be as thin as possible.
Money to be made: the best seller alone would bring in hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide
Savings: countless human lives if the Hubba Gourd or another staple like it was able to replace cereal crops currently being diverted into making biofuel.
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