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 safe by autotelic The Mescalero Apache formed his words through dry stone creased lips There was no telling how old the dude was. I guess he could have been over 100 years old Even way fucking older than me He sure looked wrinkled As I looked at him the clouds passed over the hole in the thatched domed roof I remembered very different clouds But these ones sailing across the New Mexico skies cut out the thin beam of light that had lit up the space Now all was dark and I could just hear him breathing , a rasping sound
Maybe from spending so much time meditating in the burning vapours 'Union in Strong place ' , he repeated ' that's where it will open' The beam returned carrying wisps of incence smoke upwards My ears popped as I took a toke on the pipe again It was getting really fucking hot in the dugout 'Look, I said throwing a twenty by one of the hot stones' I gotta split cos I need to be some place cooler The old Apache nodded sadly I guess he didnt have too many smoking buddies nowadays Outside the April winds blew down from off the mesa I wondered if the old guy had meant Strong City up in Union County I checked the GPS , it was a few hundred miles almost due North of Roswell The shit going down there had been on the news all week The hate jocks had had a field day on the car radio They just loved to fuck over other people's beliefs - whether good or bad They believed in nothing It seems the Healer kid had accused 66 year old Wayne Bent aka Michael Travesser
Self professed Messiah of the Lord Our Righteousness Church Of sexual abuse Only Travesser had documented with his congregation how his sleeping with virgins had been Divinely inspired Whatever, the State of New Mexico had extracted all the minors And back at Strong City Travesser had threatened the Governor of new Mexico with a Third World War Dumb crazy Waco shit But I still wondered if he could be the one I thought back to when I thought my work cracking the secrets of nature was Divinely inspired I had tapped into the energy of the Lord We need to believe in something bigger We craved His Knowledge and Love But there was something fucking weird going on The interview with the Seer Pyotr Kuznetsov in Russia had confirmed that Sure he was verging on insane Who isnt nowadays? But he'd also been frightened He'd babbled on about the Great Hunger And how he'd taken the women and children to the caves Then the Russian authorities had sectioned him They knew something was up They were trying to tap into something more To escape from poverty Into a shared redemptive vision I'd got some weird dope from the Russian scientific community too Something big was going down I'd managed to get hold of Prof Leontieff for a few seconds I had to promise to send his secretary a few dollars in the post You should not have phoned me like this ' he said in a despairing tone ' The timing is not good 'Its coming, the Hunger.' And the line had just gone dead. They had come for me the next morning and told me my visa had been revoked And frogmarched me to the airport. Have a good flight Mr Oppenheimer they'd said as I settled into my seat Fuck you Ivan I'd replied And they'd laughed through metal teeth and offered me a drop of vodka I thought what the fuck, no hard feelings and raised the flask to my lips 'We come to Los Alamos one day , yes... I laughed , lowering the flask, you mean Las Vegas.? But the armed police escort had gone. I looked down at the flask in my hand It bore an inscription Oak Ridge N.M. Jesus, I thought, someone's playing with really loaded dice. The religious fervour in Patna, India the previous week had been pretty scary Talk of women putting curses on the villagers There had been an upsurge in the spate of lynchings and burnings The worse had been the communal beheadings of terrified women by ignorant mobs Still, I figured the murderous motives could have been economic at heart Hard times and families not wanting to repay dowries The soaring price of food was hurting everyone. It was amazing what poverty could do to people. But the shit in Africa had been spookier Possessions were rife , child sacrifice was being reported on a daily basis And witches were being accused of penis theft across half the continent There was mass hysteria Jean Marc a trusted contact within the Kinshasa police force told me the witchcraft was for real Our Guns jammed when we tried to take down this one motherfucker who had been killing albinos for their organs ' he'd said deadpan Robert , he said' I've fought in jungles up to my neck in shit , the guns of an entire police unit just don't jam. They don't The beast just laughed as he hacked one of the constables with a panga And said ' You cant stop the opening' My mobile phone rang. ' Yeah, Albuquerque..maybe a few hours ..I'm on 285 just past North Lucy but if that weirdo phones again don't engage him . Tell him I'm out of town...' Hello? Hello? The line hung I love this fuckling place It reminds me of Manahattan I looked at my cell phone call log when I realised there were no bars He'd called again.3 times. He'd somehow also managed to get my hotel number in the Ukraine. I thought to eat lunch at a fast food restaurant at Clines Corners but the advertised prices were way too high 'We need to eat out in these parts too , we aint all rich city folk ' the waitress said, ' and the toilets out back, we've got a deal on six packs of coke and for 20 bucks I'll give you a hand job if you're inteested , forty I'll blow you but I dont swallow' The waitress wasnt unattractive but she spoke very matter of factly The depressed looking trucker stirring his coffee at the bar beside her didnt even look up JThere was just the sound of his spoon hitting the side of the cup 'Well?' she said, 'What's it going to be, you hungry or not? ' I tipped her five and just settled the bill forthe gas. And was glad to get back out on to the road I'd chased a spectre half the way around the world Against a background of worsening global economic chaos If there was going to be an opening Someone had to be there to push it back through I'd been one of those who'd let it in before And I was paying for that And would continue to pay for it for many life times to come Strong City seemed a long shot But just maybe there would be an opening there I needed to atone for my sins At Los Alamos It was the least I could do. Plus I had no choice. I'd learned too late There is no free will We hunger for it But it doesnt exist
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