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i've been speaking to a lot of ghosts recently
there was one in the cafe this morning a tortured soul
i didnt see him until i had sat down by the window
he sat there uncorked
he'd been drinking in too much raw life
and it showed
he was cradling a coffee
"it all goes " he said
i stared back at him over my meal
and nodded as he stirred his coffee
"I was never in love " he said
"with a woman nor money "
i noticed raindrops on the window
people walking silently by outside
"but i worked hard " he said "for little reward"
mersuad the cafe owner looked over at me questioningly
the cafe was normally as silent as the grave
a temporary bolt hole for mortally wounded bohemians
who no longer craved attention nor got it
"yes, its very hard " i said
mersaud lost interest
"i wish i'd cared more about money " the ghost said
a woman walked by outside with a pram her child was asleep cocooned in layers of wool
" its easy to wish our lives away " i said
he stirred his coffee thoughtfully
"it used to be better " he said
I didnt think it did but I agreed with him anyway
he started to talk about his life
how he'd ended up with nothing
i never once saw him touch his coffee
he just talked
"i used to box in my teens " he said
he had the face of a boxer who had taken too many blows and lost too many fights before realising he'd never win
"i wish i'd cared more about money he said "
i nodded but remembered it was summer solstice
and i thought about how little we are taught about the natural timeline
the movement of the planet
the pull of gravity
the turning of the seasons
the collapse of the stars "its all about survival " he said
"yes it is" I said"
"i cared more about god " he said looking visibly angry
" people with money care about nothing but themselves"
"life is unfair " he said bitterly "you cant buy youth "
"they just dont realise they are going to die too " i said
" god is the only master" he said
i didnt see the point of arguing i wondered if he was really there or a real ghost i wondered was i just imagining him and talking to myself mersaud would be too polite to say but he continued to talk about how unfair life was and how he had nothing left now but his god he eventually stood up to go "so are you ready for the eternal journey " i said
"ready? "he said " I've nothing to pack"
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