autonomous predator   |2009-10-14 14:23:17 That's an awful lot of present moments to contend with.

Bjorn   |2009-10-14 14:46:43 As a vain consumption driven species we're definitely taking incremental steps towards immortality . In the sterile , pampered and over medicated developed world we're already living longer and spending more and more of our disposable income on anti-ageing creams and surgical procedures that fleetingly create the impression of 'eternal youth' but the real test of human character is going to come when the 'So You Want to Live Forever?- Well Now You Can!' pitches start appearing in the small ads section of the lifestyle and happiness magazines.

Buzz Lightyear   |2009-10-14 14:49:53 It's good to see the Chimp providing afer sales support to the early adopters.

autotelic   |2009-10-14 15:03:46 Quote: the real test of human character is going to come when the 'So You Want to Live Forever?- Well Now You Can!' pitches start appearing in the small ads section of the lifestyle and happiness magazines. I'll settle for another 20 years of botox injections, let the others battle over being eternally pissed, forever will not change human nature, and it's not enough time for people to finally get things right.

Bjorn  - flawed to infinity...   |2009-10-14 15:27:27 Quote: ..forever will not change human nature, and it's not enough time for people to finally get things right. True, forever will just give us a lot more time to fuck up.

AdBuster   |2009-10-14 15:28:40 "If you have misunderstood how time works, and are suddenly horrified that death has always been much closer than you realized, try forever in a bottle, you no longer have to fret over those free moments where thoughts of being buried underground ALONE interrupt your daily routine of distraction."

BoredtoDeath   |2009-10-14 15:31:19 ..but on the positive side, we'll get to work more.

admin0   |2009-10-14 15:39:27 If human immortality ever emerges will those who can afford and dare to embrace it look back and like Dante wonder how death could have undone so many ?

Anonymous   |2009-10-14 15:53:05 Apparently the term humanity derives from the latin humando meaning ' burying ' so that troubling mortal thought of being buried ALONE underground has obviously preoccupied us for some time. The Chimp on the other hand loses no sleep over the fate of her earthly remains.

Bjorn   |2009-10-14 16:35:36 In the November issue of 'Mojo' Yoko Ono comments on the 'Age 39, feeling pretty suicidal' line from 'Looking Over from My Hotel Window' and admits she felt really fearful and suicidal back then . What's confusing is that the Mojo interviewer doesn't ask Yoko what her attitude to Death is now. Is 76 too young to be worrying about dying these days?

D   |2009-10-15 00:44:22 Quote: so that troubling mortal thought of being buried ALONE underground has obviously preoccupied us for some time. The terror of eternal aloneness and loss practically requires belief in a soul or spirit  that survives the body after death. It's weird the extent to which death and dying ' humanise ' us. Do we actually understand death for what it is better than the Chimp?

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-15 00:58:13 I assume this image is meant to be humourous? It's a bit slapdash isn't it? Oh by the way, I'm back , I hope you didn't miss me too much while I was away and thank you admin for un-blocking my account. And apologies to Bjorn and autotelic are due , I am genuinely sorry your Borderline psychological problems make it impossible for you to discriminate between a difference of opinion and a personal attack.

D   |2009-10-15 02:07:32 I'm sure mortality salience increases forays on to Craigslist personals as after posting on this 'deathly' blog topic earlier - yes it was intended to be humourous TM - I felt compelled almost to go browse the personals and make a mental note to submit another ad.

feral voices   |2009-10-15 02:53:18 At some point can we have a blogpost on Boomarang Relationships as I can't for the life of me figure out WTF the admins are doing allowing TM back on here when its clear he simply cannot pass on an opportunity to be rude and provocative towards anyone with a Borderline diagnosis.

autotelic   |2009-10-15 04:40:17 Quote: I am genuinely sorry your Borderline psychological problems make it impossible for you to discriminate between a difference of opinion and a personal attack. I didn't invite him back........ and I lied when I said nothing's personal, everything's personal. So do you have a family plot already arranged for your burial TM?

TTGD   |2009-10-15 05:01:34 Quote: So do you have a family plot already arranged for your burial TM? Don't hold your breath waiting for others to die. You have a way of making the personal sound impersonal, and the impersonal sound personal.

Vinny   |2009-10-15 05:11:36 Quote: You have a way of making the personal sound impersonal, and the impersonal sound personal. I do the same thing. I think it's because I've seen so many normal people that come from stable backgrounds make some really stupid mindless mistakes in their lives.

TTGD  - existential adolescence   |2009-10-15 05:17:54 Must this always turn into a mockery of others? These barbs and jabs aren't as subtle as you think!

Vinny   |2009-10-15 05:21:15 well, I suppose we could list the names, addresses, phone numbers, and web sites of people that have made some really fucked up choices in life.

autotelic   |2009-10-15 05:28:04 Quote: Don't hold your breath waiting for others to die. Fuck! I've been busted!

TTGD   |2009-10-15 05:33:16 The classic symptoms of depression dressed up in a joke, defense mechanisms are always very flimsy, no wonder you're so erratic and unpredictable with your reactions to everything. You guys are pretty easy to read.

autotelic  - true to borderline form   |2009-10-15 05:51:57 Can we get serious for a moment and try not to laugh while we declare that human life was never intended to be so disposable? YOU'RE CONFUSING ME ABOUT WHAT'S PERSONAL AND WHAT'S IMPERSONAL. Ever notice when we try to joke about the absurdity of birth consciousness, someone tries to guilt us out about it? And yes, a week ago, I banned TM from the board because I didn't want him participating in the ever so serious conversation about perpetual loss.

Anna   |2009-10-15 12:37:39 Quote: Don't hold your breath waiting for others to die. But don't beat yourself up if you find yourself doing this either as my automatic response to TM's latest jibe was to wish he'd just ' Drop Dead' as he simply isn't going to let up. Disproportionate? Of course, isn't 'Wishful Thinking ' always unevenly weighted in favour of the absurd?

D  - struggling under layers of meaninglessness   |2009-10-15 12:34:48 Quote: YOU'RE CONFUSING ME ABOUT WHAT'S PERSONAL AND WHAT'S IMPERSONAL. Me too. I'm also pretty confused about TTGD's dismissal of us as "so erratic and unpredictable " in our reactions yet " pretty easy to read". Is this an impersonal thing or is it just me?

Bjorn   |2009-10-15 12:34:11 Quote: The classic symptoms of depression dressed up in a joke, defense mechanisms are always very flimsy Flimsy? Are you saying its unhealthy to use jokes, humour and laughter as a way to cope with depression, traumatic events and tragedy? Do you work for a pharmaceutrical company by any chance?

Frank   |2009-10-15 12:49:58 Quote: Ever notice when we try to joke about the absurdity of birth consciousness, someone tries to guilt us out about it? You can't avoid noticing that life routinely confronts us with exactly the same contradiction to resolve, throwing it at us time and time again , alerting us to the core issues or paradox in our lives in the most exquisite ways as if the whole shebang was really just personal to us... or is this shit magical thinking?

Webmaster   |2009-10-15 14:29:47 Quote: well, I suppose we could list the names, addresses, phone numbers, and web sites of people that have made some really fucked up choices in life. Do we need a dedicated section or page for this?

autotelic   |2009-10-15 15:39:26 Quote: Are you saying its unhealthy to use jokes, humour and laughter as a way to cope with depression, traumatic events and tragedy? Do you work for a pharmaceutrical company by any chance? The commercials for anti-depressants say that suicidal ideation is one of the possible side effects, but I've found that the biggest side effect is having the most vivid confrontational compelling dreams ever. I often sleep right through the alarm clock, because so many issues in my life are far from being resolved, and there's always some dreadful conversation that needs to be finished before I can wake for the day.

Anonymous   |2009-10-15 16:00:55 Quote: I've found that the biggest side effect is having the most vivid confrontational compelling dreams ever. At least the anti-depressants you are on appear to be keeping these conversations in consciousness somehow, a lot of people who succeed in medicating away the pain of depression and trauma end up just having their issues replaced by periods of unfocussed blind rage.

D   |2009-10-16 02:28:29 Quote: The commercials for anti-depressants say that suicidal ideation is one of the possible side effects Its an interesting 'side effect ' , I mean thinking about how the drugs must be interacting with the mechanics of the thought processes . If you are used to experiencing suicidal ideation anyway you realize that when the life force isn't appropriately facilitated the death force always assumes the upper hand and pushes you towards your most destructive addictions. I'm struggling to access large chunks of my past at the moment, its like its constructed out of bruised memory that's swollen into painful shapes that take up too much space inside my brain rather than out of wispy retrievable thoughts. To be honest I have tended to avoid anti-depressants in case they made me feel worse.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-16 00:59:55 Quote: Are you saying its unhealthy to use jokes, humour and laughter as a way to cope with depression, traumatic events and tragedy? autotelic isn't simply using humour and social satire to cope with her depression and personality disorder, she's planning on using it to cheat death!

Frank   |2009-10-16 02:43:48 Quote: I'm struggling to access large chunks of my past at the moment It's not always easy to make the connection. As autotelic was saying earlier a lot of it comes at us from beneath the surface in our dreams. My past is shark infested water.

autotelic   |2009-10-16 06:23:01 My dreams are always 'outsider status' related. I've been hassled about being a spoilsport since I was 4 years old. My past is shark infested water too. My most recent ex probably has very middle class dreams about how much he misses the 'safe connection' that the wealthy in-laws from his second marriage provided. He's also caught in a bit of a time warp, nostalgic for the good ole days, when mommy acted out the role Of June Cleaver. God knows he misses that, so much so that he can sit in his recliner all day long, and daydream about how great it was being a kid........upon further evaluation though, I don't think he's adapted all that well to being an adult, the point is, we all get to face off our necessary losses when we dream, since none of us fully accept loss during our waking hours. It's all relative.

autotelic   |2009-10-16 06:32:50 I wake up and say "Leave me alone. Send the jury away. Let me live free or let me die." My ex probably wakes up says, "I can't believe that chaos has more to do with destiny than order does. Give me back my security damnit!" .....hmmm, I wonder who's more deluded about the nature of reality.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-16 14:25:40 Quote: I wake up and say "Leave me alone. Send the jury away. Let me live free or let me die." One of the bleakest and most terrifying recurring dreams I have is about freedom and the dream  usually flips between taking order and chaos to nightmarish extremes. More often than not I'm a lone critic in my dreams too and the heaviest burden - and I suppose this counts for life as well- is not being judged but having to judge.

Bjorn   |2009-10-16 13:50:17 Quote: .....hmmm, I wonder who's more deluded about the nature of reality. If there's a deeper quantum reality out there then there's no delusion, your world just splits into two every time your view on the nature of reality is confirmed with the you in this world deciding its too ordered mutually oblivious to the you in the other world state deciding its too chaotic.

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-16 14:12:04 Quote: "Leave me alone. Send the jury away. Let me live free or let me die." The waking cry of an unrepentant narcissist? Quote: the heaviest burden.....is not being judged but having to judge. The pathetic Borderline struggling with social responsibility and a self-punishing conscience? The jury is out dear reader.You decide.

autotelic   |2009-10-16 15:07:07 Quote: The waking cry of an unrepentant narcissist? oh who cares, calling me a narcissist isn't enough to provoke an emotional reaction from me.

autotelic   |2009-10-16 15:18:31 Quote: he can sit in his recliner all day long, and daydream about how great it was being a kid... He has one of those recliners that rocks back and forth, he's trying to recreate symbiosis with mommy.

autotelic  - all are guilty   |2009-10-16 15:20:40 Quote: The pathetic Borderline struggling with social responsibility and a self-punishing conscience? Fuck you, this applies to everyone.

Frank   |2009-10-16 15:26:44 Quote: he can sit in his recliner all day long, and daydream about how great it was being a kid... I can't even fucking imagine being able to do that! The times that I can recollect of my childhood always seem to be of moments when I was acutely aware of being an outsider , out of step or just knew I was doing something wrong. I guess that's a form of self-judgment.

Bjorn   |2009-10-16 15:31:50 TM, If we have a resident Narcissist at all its you as I've yet to see any evidence of valued others featuring in your self-centred worldview .

MarinCountyHealer   |2009-10-16 15:56:18 It's strange but I've definitely started to dream more since I picked up with this site. Perhaps it's because you guys are so much more confrontational than people in my own social circle - in a constructive way I mean as my family and friends are more self-contained. Perhaps its safer to be. The dreams have been lightweight sexual fantasies mostly - what am I trying to tell myself?- but I've also had some scary dreams about running out of money and faith. These are things I have good cause to worry about anyway so no regrets coming here , if only there were a resident Joseph around to interpret my more confusing nightime flights...

Jillian   |2009-10-16 16:34:53 The guy in the rocking recliner may need to detach from his symbiotic ties to mommy, but Frank, sooner or later you have to stop using your miserable childhood as an excuse for why there is never any movement, growth, or progress in your own life.

Frank   |2009-10-16 16:48:44 Quote: sooner or later you have to stop using your miserable childhood as an excuse for why there is never any movement, growth, or progress in your own life. There is some movement, growth and progress in my life Jillian, it just seems to be towards a much deeper understanding of how miserable childhoods usually separate the Borderliner from all singing and dancing Recliner Man. And its not a big deal looking into this, I'm not personally angry or anything! It's an objective reality as far as I can see and I'd be faking it if I tried to focus on the same way on anything else. Well, apart from the home movie thing...

jillian   |2009-10-16 16:59:41 Quote: I'm not personally angry or anything Bullshit, you're a temper tantrum baby, cause mommy was never there. Go get yourself another replacement family and quit your bitching!

Frank   |2009-10-16 17:29:37 Jesus Jillian! At least declare an interest in your scathing comments as I went well out of my way to apologise to you over the motel room video misunderstanding! Besides, I'm kinda blending in with a socialist reading group ran by this crazy Russian woman who lives in my apartment building. It's not a replacement family but for the moment it's close enough for me. Stay well.

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-16 20:13:50 Frank , You got called! But we understand, we really do .You just don't have what it takes to be much of a man do you? Don't worry, it's ok and all credit to you for finally dealing with all that repressed rage over your ill spent youth but from now on just stay off the track friend so you don't impede anyone elses progress, ok?

Bjorn   |2009-10-17 01:52:52 Remember the accident prone Large Hadron Collider (LHC) the massive particle accelerator CERN built to recreate the forces and particles that reigned in the trilli-seconds before the Big Bang? The collider that some thought threatened the future of the planet? Yeah, that one. Well the LHC is back in the news again as it's now been cooled to it's operating temperature of 1.9 kelvin (-271C; -456F) - colder than deep space - in preparation for its scheduled reboot later this month but Holger Bech Nielsen, of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen, and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto, Japan hypothesise that the attempt to produce the Higgs bosun or so called 'God Particle' using the LHC is being sabotaged by it's own future as they suspect that the Higgs boson might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple back through time and stop the collider before it could make one. Their theory predicts more bad luck ahead for the already jinxed LHC.

D   |2009-10-17 02:27:39 Can the future Affect the past? It's a pretty awesome question. In this case I guess knowing what time scales Holger Bech Nielsen and Masao Ninomiya are talking about would help given that the LHC is trying to recreate and capture events that happened a trilli-second before the Big Bang. We already know weird shit happens at the quantum level but for cause and effect to blur or even reverse I think we need look no further than the large as life scale and the very human experience of falling in love. Does that work backwards or is it just me?

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-17 02:35:28 It's just you D but only when you fail to comply with your medication regime.

autotelic   |2009-10-17 04:10:30 Quote: I went well out of my way to apologise to you over the xxx Frank, no more talk about this, or your comment will be deleted. I'm surprised that Jillian bothered coming back to the site at all, as your last comment directed to her was left up longer than it should have been, but I was gone all day, and had no way of taking it down sooner, my apologies Jillian. It's ok for us to psychoanalyze one another on this board, but there is to be no discussing of details about personal interactions that occur between board members off the site. Good luck with the Russian woman, try not to let your neediness make her angry.

Vinny   |2009-10-17 04:41:48 Quote: He has one of those recliners that rocks back and forth, he's trying to recreate symbiosis with mommy. hilarious

Anonymous   |2009-10-17 04:53:10 Quote: I'm kinda blending in with a socialist reading group ran by this crazy Russian woman who lives in my apartment building. It's not a replacement family but for the moment it's close enough for me It's probably a lot healthier than sitting around AA groups rehashing your past over and over and over again.

ComptonRegis   |2009-10-17 13:12:15 Frank, I second Autotelic , your persistent rants on the Reuters site are offensive, churlish and boring .Yes the banking system has its faults but its operated by human beings every bit as deserving of consideration and respect as anyone else on the planet so kindly keep your ignorant paramania and hateful utopian pessimism to yourself as it clearly isn't enhancing your interactions with your good friends here and you are simply viewed as a sick retarded troll on more coherent sites.

Frank   |2009-10-17 13:13:08 Quote: you are simply viewed as a sick retarded troll on more coherent sites. So it's come to this huh? Apologists for the corrupt banking system hooking up with treacherous discontents on this board to shout me down for  openly questioning corporate fucking greed. Hey fuck you I'm human too!

Jillian   |2009-10-17 13:52:36 Quote: Good luck with the Russian woman, try not to let your neediness make her angry. If Anna Karenina has any sense at all then  she'll soon see there's nothing of any substance  behind that man's neediness - he practically had me combing his hair , dressing him and choosing which clothes he should wear!

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-17 14:14:07 Quote: The waking cry of an unrepentant narcissist? I recently spent some time with a genuine unrepentant narcissist. It was incredibly sad as in the week we spent together - it was a work scenario - I don't think she ever once allowed our conversation to stray from herself - not fucking once - and this totally fascinated and appalled me. Towards the end of the week I was convinced she was going to have a total mental breakdown because she was investing so much nervous energy into directing attention towards herself and she became angry if I seemed anything less than fully engrossed in information about herself she'd already told me countless times before. She worked in PR and I guess in short bursts must have come across as driven, confident and resourceful .

Dr Spock   |2009-10-17 14:49:09 Neediness isn't a very attractive human quality , particularly when its 'clingy' but as much as we're annoyed by neediness we are all guilty of exhibiting it , we just don't notice so much when its our own.

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-17 15:25:44 A flaky new age student friend of mine is always telling me that everything that's wrong with the world at the moment , from guantanimo to our mistreatment of other animals, is the direct result of unmet need. Invariably she'll go on to say how the world would be a much better place if only we could raise human consciousness through meditation, communal living and other forms of ,well, hippyish enlightened social interaction and I think she genuinely believes that we're moving towards this turning point , she's a card carrying Mayan calendar 2012 freak, and probably needs to believe it too. Am I helping to generate even more problems out there by failing to point out to my vegan friend that her deep need to believe we are moving towards some form of collective spiritual enlightenment is going to be unmet too?

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-17 15:55:26 Break it gently to her over a prime rib burger Kid, explain how the freedom loving psychodelic Hippie 60s ended with the Manson Murders and Big Pharma turning everyone on. That should do it.

Anonymous   |2009-10-17 16:36:57 Quote: Am I helping to generate even more problems out there by failing to point out to my vegan friend that her deep need to believe we are moving towards some form of collective spiritual enlightenment is going to be unmet too? Her need to believe in order to survive is probably so strong that your contrary evidence won't discourage her, it's like faith.

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-17 18:48:20 Thanks auto, this issue with my friend has been bothering me for a while. Yes I've respected her belief in growing enlightened human consciousness up until now precisely because she clings to it with faithlike conviction. Man, she basically recruits and converts other students to her beliefs . I don't quite know how to handle that. Your point about my friend being very unlikely to accept any evidence that runs counter to her beliefs is probably spot on too but it still doesn't quite answer my original question, so put another way, what should I ethically do if I consider my friend's faith in the imminent emergence of heightened consciousness and global spirituality not only nonsensical but a hinderance to the development of a more rational , materialistic and above all achievable way for people to organise how we live on the planet? Should I conceal my belief here or challenge hers? and, because this is probably the underlying problem I have with this hippy chick, what's the trade off between competing worldviews and friendship? Does anybody know?

Buzz Lightyear   |2009-10-17 18:58:26 Hmmmm , well I'd normally say just perpetuate your own truths and freedoms but you obviously haven't been doing that kid so you really need to come at this 'ethical problem ' the other way round:- WTF have you been doing accomodating beliefs you clearly don't believe in? Answer that and you'll figure out what the trade off is yourself.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-17 19:01:45 Quote: what's the trade off between competing worldviews and friendship? Does anybody know? Life is painful , everything else is background noise.

Angie   |2009-10-18 01:12:55 You know what, I'm really fucking bored as I have zero tolerance for discussions about systematized faith and while we're about it no faith in the future of humanity at all , so I'm more of a dystopian pessimist obviously but I'm definitely not out to recruit anyone to my point of view . Have any of you guys managed to dredge up anyone interesting off of the personals yet? And hey Frank, I care. Oh and 'ComptonRegis' what kind of a fucking name is that?

NamVet   |2009-10-17 19:57:41 Why does it always fall to a whore to attend to the victim of the mob?

Angie   |2009-10-17 20:17:58 Quote: Why does it always fall to a whore to attend to the victim of the mob? Huh? What just happened? Was that a compliment?

D   |2009-10-17 21:35:13 Quote: there's nothing of any substance behind that man's neediness "Manthropology" a book by Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister , sub-titled "The Science of the Inadequate Modern Male" sets out McAllisters view that Modern Man is a wimp compared to his prehistoric counterpart who could have according to the author  easilly outperformed todays top atheletes. McCallister reckons any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestling contest. McAllister pulls no punches in his opening sentences: "If you're reading this then you -- or the male you have bought it for -- are the worst man in history. "No ifs, no buts -- the worst man, period...As a class we are in fact the sorriest cohort of masculine Homo sapiens to ever walk the planet." This information wont particularly suprise or disappoint anyone on this site , well ok, NamVet and TM may bristle a bit and autotelic may have something further to say about modern man's emotional development and sexual prowess but McAllister just hammers home the physical point , padding the book out with evidence he believes proves that modern man is physically inferior to his predecessors. It's not a one way street though as I bet if prehistoric man had even dimly grasped the full psychological horror of modern life s/he would have shimmied back up the fucking trees in a instant and passed over the joys of death awareness to focus on zoning out in the treetops and growing back a tail.

Angie   |2009-10-18 03:14:33 Quote: If you're reading this then you -- or the male you have bought it for-- are the worst man in history. Even if the theory is pure bulshit that's a great  opening sentence.I wonder if the author got laid by a manhater at his booklaunch on the basis of this.

Bjorn   |2009-10-18 04:44:19 Tonight, well just now, I had a strange and very vivid dream. I was standing before the kitchen window in the dark and saw the silouhette of my cat outside on the windowsill and I started to open the window a little to let it in but then suddenly became aware of another cat on my shoulder so I reasoned the cat outside was an intruder and so shut the window again to keep it out. At that point the creature on my shoulder made an awful triumphant screeching sound and I instantly realized that I had locked the wrong cat out and locked something alien in with me. It was enough to wake me up.

autotelic   |2009-10-18 06:52:30 Quote: what should I ethically do if I consider my friend's faith in the imminent emergence of heightened consciousness and global spirituality not only nonsensical but a hinderance to the development of a more rational , materialistic and above all achievable way for people to organise how we live on the planet? Should I conceal my belief here or challenge hers? if you're hoping to have sex with her, don't challenge her beliefs

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-18 13:14:19 I could never have sex with a Hippie!

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-18 13:47:53 There's a lot of chimneysweeping occuring on the board, first autotelic shared how she desperately battles with her oneiroic inquisitors in her waking dreams and now we have the dark mystery of Bjorn's two cats. Your dream means you have made an enemy or have a conflicted love interest Bjorn, or possibly aspects of both. Perhaps some poor woman who swallowed your latest psychiatric history-less Craigslist ad and saw in it and you a glint of her own future happiness has excitedly Googled you and discovered that like all Borderlines you are a pathological liar and human snake. Stranger things have happened....

Angie  - Bjorn's Craigslist Probs   |2009-10-18 14:09:18 TM, it can't have been your fucking wife then as she only responds to NSA ads from ethnic guys and groups.

Bjorn   |2009-10-18 15:38:31 I hate to disappoint you TM but the cat dream had a more mundane explanation . You see I normally don't lock my cat out of the house at all , I leave the window open all the time so it can come and go as it likes .Last night though it was very cold and I thought to close the window for once but the cat was nowhere to be seen to make sure he was in and I suddenly became overly concerned that someone could break in through the window if I left it open . So for the first time in years I locked the window . The nightmare showed me the truth , that I had locked out the cat , the source of the anguish, and I was in danger of 'locking in' an irrational paranoid fear to justify and compensate for the shift from 'openness'. Shortly after I posted about my dream I opened the window and went back to sleep. The guilt and fear vanished, one dream explained, one problem solved.

TMfocus  - meditate for change   |2009-10-18 15:46:28 So, you put the comfort of an animal before your own even in your own house and you can't tolerate change. Interesting. You know what your reformulation tells me your dream means? I think your dream is simply confirming what most of us already know, that you people really are just so much wasted genetic material!

autotelic   |2009-10-18 16:45:33 Quote: you people really are just so much wasted genetic material! Bjorn, this guy is pretty redundant, do I really have to wake up and read such an unaffirmative statement from someone that was already banned? I don't want him here. Meanwhile, the kid said: Quote: I could never have sex with a Hippie! I know, it's weird. It's just plain old weird having sex with anyone. If you don't want to have sex with her, then you are in a position where you can crush her hopes and delusions about world peace. But you have to be cruel about it!

Dream Girl  - intimacy is gross   |2009-10-18 17:02:52 Quote: Perhaps some poor woman who swallowed your latest psychiatric history-less Craigslist ad and saw in it and you a glint of her own future happiness has excitedly Googled you and discovered that like all Borderlines you are a pathological liar and human snake. yep, this is what happens, but if you get close enough to anyone, You'll find that aversion is the strongest reaction and emotion that needs to be dealt with.

Bjorn   |2009-10-18 18:08:00 hey autotelic, I've been really tempted to permanently silence TM for some time now but since what he stands for and posts is so predictable I suppose I've given him some leeway as the alternative view and made light of his ability to hurt and negate people but if what I'm hearing is a genuine revulsion to the guys posts just say the word and TM's history as I dont think we have to put up with his crap either and its not as if the cunt hasn't been warned.

Angie   |2009-10-18 18:27:40 TM doesnt really bother me but he's hardly contributed anything positive to the site and there's no question that he's totally fucking vindictive and personal with it . Get rid of him , he's a jerk.

vinny   |2009-10-18 18:34:19 people don't change, if you really want to be fascist with censorship, you could just delete sections of his posts that you find insulting, that might make him feel worse than completely banning him.

Bjorn   |2009-10-18 18:45:27 Too late Vinny he's gone for good and I've messaged regular users confirming this. I don't think we've been fascist in our dealings with TMfocus at all, he revelled in totally negating people he considered to be weaker than him.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-19 02:04:58 TMfocus gone? Who would have thunk?... Go Borderlines!!!

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-19 03:31:58 Quote: If you get close enough to anyone, You'll find that aversion is the strongest reaction and emotion that needs to be dealt with. I so relate to this but think aversion is more of a force like gravity than an emotion , an almost physically forceful human instinct that blindly works across all human relations but to bind as well as repel.

jillian   |2009-10-19 03:53:11 aversion can be binding?

jillian   |2009-10-19 03:59:07 aversion is only binding for those that are still needy, you might want to work on overcoming that kid, try not to be so fucking compelled already.

Anonymous  - 6th and B   |2009-10-19 04:12:52 I read some gossip about "this website" online, and I'm not telling what it said or where it can be found.

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-19 04:31:54 There are all types of behaviours that are aversion driven Jillian, core death avoidance , routine loss avoidance , aspects of mananaging uncertainty and risk and basic aversion to change and pain. These bind people to relationships and things as well as repel.

Julian VZ   |2009-10-19 04:35:25 Quote: I read some gossip about "this website" online, and I'm not telling what it said or where it can be found. We've been outed ! Is it TM getting his revenge?

jillian   |2009-10-19 04:46:49 my aversion isn't so complicated, and it's certainly not an attachment. Maybe we're not even talking about the same thing. Girls just get grossed out really easily if they subject themselves to the presence of one man for any length of time.

Anonymous  - 6th and B   |2009-10-19 04:56:13 Good luck with your ongoing search for the rogue incinerators, if you google life is brutally unfair, you won't be able to find the wicked shit I stumbled upon about this site. It's not someone from reuters either. Someone's talking some nasty smack about the shitty pics and 'half-witted' rants found on this site. I read some well executed words that make your words look oh so pedestrian. Someone thinks you guys really suck. And it's not the guy that you just kicked off the board, this stuff dates back to May.

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-19 04:58:12 Aversion is aversion however it manifests itself but I think I understood the orginal sense it was used in , the aversion within a relationship to being in one or even the aversion to the suffocating animalness of the other person , which obviously can be mutual. What I mean is that there's this constant battle going on between, say, aversion to losing one's independence and automony and aversion to being abandoned and alone. Its not like people are completely guided by the pleasure principle is it?

Frank   |2009-10-19 05:16:21 Quote: Someone's talking some nasty smack about the shitty pics and 'half-witted' rants found on this site. Yeah its fucking terrible the way so many people feel they have the right to try to pass off their shitty pics and half witted rants as high art and legitimate expression nowadays, I think we should unplug the internet and get back to being in awe of an elite priestly caste writing the word of God on bits of dead sheep.

Anonymous   |2009-10-19 05:34:15 Seriously who gives a shit?

autotelic   |2009-10-19 05:56:41 Quote: Someone thinks you guys really suck. L-A-M-E It's not like we have to stand in front of a live audience with our material. I already got a taste of "Karen, the audience doesn't like you", 20 years ago when I was doing stand up comedy. Not everyone is a fan? Well now, that certainly is news to me! in other news: Quote: the aversion to the suffocating animalness of the other person Only those that can't bear to be alone can really tolerate it. Yes Jillian, Quote: Girls just get grossed out really easily if they subject themselves to the presence of one man for any length of time. That quote could go in the book, 'What She Won't Tell You, So that You don't Leave'

Bjorn   |2009-10-19 05:56:46 When the most powerful person on the planet doesn't even blush on being awarded a Nobel Peace prize as a heroic and politically correct gesture I'm more than happy to accept a scathing review that accuses us of producing shitty pics and half-witted rants because at least we deserve it.

Anonymous   |2009-10-19 06:08:34 Quote: 'What She Won't Tell You, So that You don't Leave' There should be a copy on every bedside table.

autotelic   |2009-10-19 06:13:47 Bjorn, I think what we're exploring on this site is as fresh as fresh can be. .....never question if this site is cool, trust me, we are the ultimate in cool. Did you update the site tags yet? Cause when I google the word 'narcissists', the site doesn't come up.

D   |2009-10-19 06:18:51 Quote: I already got a taste of "Karen, the audience doesn't like you", 20 years ago when I was doing stand up comedy. Can anyone tell me of one worthwhile contribution to society that has ever been made by an audience?

Bjorn   |2009-10-19 06:22:16 autotelic, 'unrepentant narcissist' is definitely included in the meta tags . I think 'narcissist ' is in there as well. I'll double check later.

autotelic   |2009-10-19 07:10:33 There's a guy on craigslist that says "I'm having such a hard time meeting a decent girl, and any time I do meet a decent girl she turns out to be crazier than hell." Yuck.

Anonymous   |2009-10-19 13:15:21 That guy needs to switch cities and post his ads on the Stepford board.

A disgruntled Goat   |2009-10-19 14:10:09 Those kind of guys make me sick too!!! They shop on the online emotional thrift stores because they've been shelved and recycled a few times themselves and yet constantly bitch about not being able to find new items in perfect working order and condition with full guarantees and the slightest flaw has them tearing out their hair and demanding a full refund.

autotelic   |2009-10-19 15:47:24 quoting the quote: Quote: "I'm having such a hard time meeting a decent girl, and any time I do meet a decent girl she turns out to be crazier than hell." I think there are an awful lot of undiagnosed borderlines floating around that men haven't learned how to adapt to yet. Remember when we did the blog called 'The Future is Borderline'? The future is here now, and people just aren't ready for it. Folks just don't want to believe that the intimacy they crave involves getting up close and personal with insanity, there's no getting around it. This guy's ad reveals a pattern I've been noticing lately. Many simple men post ads saying that they're tired of meeting women that have been so profoundly affected by their past. Most women are no longer desperate enough to keep a copy of 'What She Won't Tell You, So That You don't Leave' by their bedsides. It's very important for women to process all the hideous injustices that they have been exposed to, cause God knows, we all deserved better.

Anonymous   |2009-10-19 18:10:42 Quote: Folks just don't want to believe that the intimacy they crave involves getting up close and personal with insanity, there's no getting around it. aversion to the whole shebang is the most natural response, I think many people are surprised to discover that they're much better off alone. Only saints and desperados have the ability to work with others in such a demanding institution called the relationship, it's all a hoax.

jillian   |2009-10-19 18:39:38 Quote: It's very important for women to process all the hideous injustices that they have been exposed to, cause God knows, we all deserved better. yes, this is true, but I think many women make the mistake of believing that "the next partner will understand." It's not smart to invest so much hope into mortal man, THE STENCH OF EGO IS PRESENT IN ALL. (the more we talk about this, the less compelled I feel to masturbate)

Levitating Creep   |2009-10-19 19:09:44 Quote: (the more we talk about this, the less compelled I feel to masturbate) Blame it on autotelic.

Julian VZ   |2009-10-20 02:08:45 Quote: Only saints and desperados have the ability to work with others in such a demanding institution called the relationship, it's all a hoax. Could be that's the Borderline's lot in life,  to explode the myth of the enduring romantic relationship one doomed Craigslist encounter at a time!

Anna   |2009-10-19 20:24:30 Quote: (the more we talk about this, the less compelled I feel to masturbate) Hey! Wait a minute, You guys still feel compelled to masturbate?....

Anonymous   |2009-10-19 21:05:00 Quote: yes, this is true, but I think many women make the mistake of believing that "the next partner will understand." Hate to disillusion you but a lot of the  Borderline women on the dating scene make the mistake of believing that they can be understood at all.

D   |2009-10-20 02:01:25 Quote: Folks just don't want to believe that the intimacy they crave involves getting up close and personal with insanity, there's no getting around it. Sadly there's often no getting through it either when you come up against a potential romantic partner whose routine insanity is totally incompatible with your own . In any event it's a lot of painfully raw exposure and scraping away at longterm emotional scar tissue and Borderlines often experience a lot more friction in the exchange as difference comes at a heavy price and always has to be explained and justified. Then there's the relational order vs chaos thing. No-one is allowed to forget what is normal and expected in a relationship and any difference and disorder admitted is usually held back for the great repudiation. For our part I think Borderlines are pretty intense and have a deep need to be loved to the core but are too used to loneliness and despair to settle for anything less. It's a problem.

Bjorn   |2009-10-20 02:05:37 Quote: (the more we talk about this, the less compelled I feel to masturbate) It's certainly no fun to masturbate if you're clinically depressed but if people are open and compassionate it never hurts to talk .

Helen   |2009-10-20 02:07:00 Wankers!

NamVet   |2009-10-20 02:45:57 Quote: Borderlines are pretty intense and have a deep need to be loved to the core Awwwwww...but wait Borderlines are pretty intense because, duh!, they have practically no impulse control , experience rapid violent mood swings and are emotionally incapable of maintaining stable meaningful relationships over time. So yeah I'm sure achieving intimacy with a Borderline would require ' getting up close and personal with insanity' which is why most folk out there would never knowingly hook up with anyone that fucking crazy.

Dream Girl   |2009-10-20 03:26:06 Quote: Could be that's the Borderline's lot in life, to explode the myth of the enduring romantic relationship one doomed Craigslist encounter at a time! Luckily, the thrill is gone, cause if we learned anything from these escapdes it's this: Quote: Sadly there's often no getting through it either when you come up against a potential romantic partner whose routine insanity is totally incompatible with your own . Aversion over desire any day.

Bjorn   |2009-10-20 03:34:38 Quote: Aversion over desire any day Think we should incorporate this in the site logo, at least until we change our minds and decide Lust liberates all again ....

Sophie  - Feedback   |2009-10-20 13:26:09 Quote: ref Craigslist ad " Seeking woman who understands we must prefer real hell to an imaginary paradise.” Bjorn, As a recently divorced career orientated working mom ready for a serious relationship with a mature, solvent and committed life partner I just want to provide some feedback on your recent efforts on Craigslist to find someone to'share the journey with ' as you put it to add a little perspective to this thread. I originally responded to your ad on Craigslist to find out who you were as I suspected you might be my ex as he has a history of stalking me. You provided the url to this site as one of your various interests in your response to me so I hope you don't mind me openly replying here. Tell me, do you really think that an ad that quotes the sanctimonious and emotionally illiterate claptrap of Simone Weil in its title ( yes I can use Wikipedia too!), misanthropically speculates about species extinction in its opening line and generally veers off the misery index as an exercise in sheer depressive hopelessness and bitterness could ever in your wildest psychotic hallucinations entice a sane woman into entering into any kind of relationship with you, online or off? You are a monster and it disgusts me that you attempt to shift responsibility for this fact and your lot in life on to normal God fearing people who make a positive contribution to society and family life . I spent 17 years trapped in a relationship with a twisted psychopath who thought exactly like you do. He was a Piscean who refused to commit and  mocked my intelect and parenting skills as well.  Never again .

Bjorn   |2009-10-20 12:46:07 I take it we didn't bond....

autotelic   |2009-10-20 15:00:37 Quote: the sanctimonious and emotionally illiterate claptrap of Simone Weil in its title Simone Weil is dead. People only fear her because she was never innocent. We are now living in a time where it is becoming more difficult for people to feign innocence or even remember what innocence feels like. The Red Virgin will always be an abrasive reminder of why the human experiment isn't working.

Anonymous   |2009-10-20 15:06:23 These single moms that are burning the candle at both ends are dying from emotional exhaustion, foolishly telling themselves that there's always plenty of love to go round. There's got to be an open slot in the day planner to squeeze in a man somewhere.

Anonymous   |2009-10-20 15:17:24 Quote: We are now living in a time where it is becoming more difficult for people to feign innocence or even remember what innocence feels like. This is so discerning . It's all fake. One of the problems I've routinely experienced on sites like Craigslist is that many 'sane and respectable ' people will initially fake caring passionately about an issue if I mention it in my ad or in passing and later crossly denounce me as negative for caring about it .

autotelic   |2009-10-20 15:23:01 Bjorn! You childless beast! You don't fit the disaster in the making criteria: "must love kids, my kids are my world, prefer a man that has kids too" Do these people ever stop to consider that introducing a new man, and new step siblings to biological offspring is a life altering traumatic event? They're feigning innocence alright! (What messy untidy lives), collecting more baggage along the way, and creating new reasons for their children to seek therapy.

Jillian   |2009-10-20 15:29:18 Quote: As a recently divorced career orientated working mom ready for a serious relationship with a mature, solvent and committed life partner totally unrealistic, it's just blind faith, or a house of cards that consists of all jokers

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-20 15:32:52 Quote: The Red Virgin will always be an abrasive reminder of why the human experiment isn't working. Me loves The Red Virgin, if only because she was such an impossible woman......in the most realistic sense of the word.

Anna   |2009-10-20 15:36:49 Quote: The Red Virgin will always be an abrasive reminder of why the human experiment isn't working. Yes , Weil's utopian pessimism was honed on the sure knowledge that it's humanly impossible to draw attention to something people are wasting all their life energy trying to forget.

D   |2009-10-20 16:14:12 Quote: Me loves The Red Virgin, if only because she was such an impossible woman......in the most realistic sense of the word. Me too. Society makes it impossible for so many people to be realistic.

Frank   |2009-10-20 17:01:50 on Quote: ready for a serious relationship with a mature, solvent and committed life partner Jillian wrote Quote: totally unrealistic, it's just blind faith, or a house of cards that consists of all jokers and yet Jillian you waste so much time looking for the King of Hearts . Isn't there another solution?

Maya   |2009-10-20 17:20:47 Quote: Isn't there another solution? How about the end of rebirth for starters?

BoredtoDeath   |2009-10-20 17:26:19 The concept of the human soul has a lot to answer for.

Bjorn   |2009-10-21 03:42:15 Just received an e-mail from another well known personals ads service that my " Seeking woman who understands why we must prefer real hell to an imaginary paradise.” ad has been up 4 days now and is getting lost in the relentless torrent of human neediness and expectation and do I want to pay to highlight and re-post it.

MarinCountyHealer   |2009-10-21 07:34:17 Quote: " Seeking woman who understands why we must prefer real hell to an imaginary paradise.” Well that's one sure way to avoid rejection... Seriously, there isn't an emoticon with a wry or sad enough smile to represent how I truly felt as I typed that as without wishing to offend I assume that you are self-jeopardizing in response to what you see as such a depressing no-win situation anyway. Right? I'm not sure you see things as they really are here but on the other hand I do feel for you guys as trying to find a way into a purposeful relationship from the 'outside' makes things doubly difficult, I see that, and it must feel a bit like scrambling around for water on the surface of the moon ..... and down here of course there is "water , water everywhere but not a drop to drink' " Relationships were never so hard for me, they just fell into place and I wish I could claim some personal credit for this but in all honesty I can't . I just had a more stable  background to start with that helped shape my expectations and, I suppose, the person I grew up to be. Oh and I always had strong faith. That's it, the secret of my success in a nutshell.

SharonNorthShore   |2009-10-21 06:02:12 Why the apologetic tone Marin? Look, we each are responsible for what happens to us in life , there are no excuses , I don't give a damn about those who can't look at themselves in their bedroom dresser mirror at night and thank God that enough is more. The bible is clear, "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want." and those left wanting have only themselves to blame. I'm also troubled that this site is being recommended as part of the international mental health week iniative as it isn't providing information about mental health issues and recovery its unashamedly promoting deviant behaviour.

Jillian   |2009-10-21 06:19:49 Frank, PLEASE pick up your phone!!!

Frank   |2009-10-21 06:30:25 This week has been a fucking rollercoster ride into hell and I almost ended things but I am going to phone my old sponsor tomorrow as there's no pried left in my life but I want to saty something because if I dont now I know it wont get siad tomorrow. I'm truly soryy Jillian, that's it, just there.Sorry andnd Marina you are a good lady, I don't agree with religoin but you have a heart. But SharonNorthShore, excuse me, you are one horribal mean fucking cunt. Words fail me, I hope to fucking god you never fall by the wayside and meet somoen like you you fucking selfisth bitch.

Bjorn   |2009-10-21 14:21:51 Quote: trying to find a way into a purposeful relationship from the 'outside' makes things doubly difficult doubly difficult? sigh, you're out by several orders of magnitude Marin... but essentially your snap analysis of the situation is correct and raises awkward questions like why I bother to haunt the personal ads sites at all if I am so doubtful about the reality of 'the enduring relationship' or why , if I am so fatalistic about my prospects of success I don't just abandon the self-jeapordising strategy to see if that objectively makes a difference. Basically, why don't I call my own bluff. No time to answer these or any other questions right now, well not in any way that will do them justice, but I promise I'll get back to you on the points you raised later if you're still interested. How old are you anyway? Your pic gets mine lol

MarinCountyHealer   |2009-10-21 14:47:25 Do try to answer if and when you can Bjorn but as to your questions , I'm afraid I'm ancient , happily accounted for and don't have Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder ..... sorry

autotelic   |2009-10-21 15:59:33 Frank, your spelling is deplorable, you always make such a mess when you come on this board drunk.

autotelic  - eternal sunshine of the spotless mind   |2009-10-21 16:06:00 Everyone on this board should be forced to read Eckhart Tolle, all of us need to let go of the past. The only reason why I'm on antidepressants is because I still haven't come to terms with the past.

autotelic   |2009-10-21 17:30:44 Quote: I'm also troubled that this site is being recommended as part of the international mental health week iniative as it isn't providing information about mental health issues and recovery its unashamedly promoting deviant behaviour. Sometimes, I get discouraged, when I see how we all enable one another to not be more aggressive about our own recovery. A lot of people on this board (myself included) have gotten so used to being isolated with our demons. We know how to talk about problems, but we struggle with finding solutions.

D  - No Man Is an Island   |2009-10-21 19:53:49 Quote: We know how to talk about problems, but we struggle with finding solutions. Well I'm constantly looking for and open to solutions and to sharing what works and what doesn't but lets also be honest about what 'recovery' means for most Borderlines as linguistically its a non starter - how does one recover from one's personality? - and practically I think its no conicidence that PD's have been rather airbrushed out of the mainstream Recovery agenda and although we now see slogans reading ' Borderline Personality Disorder is No Longer a Diagnosis of Exclusion ' , in terms of availability of effective treatments designed around the diagnosis rather than the behavioural expectations of the middle class people who run them and enduring negative attitudes to the diagnosis of course it is still a diagnosis of exclusion as are many of the other diagnoses in the PD spectrum. Anyway to stay positive , the Borderlines response to drugs is unpredictable as symptoms and traits so vary and I dont get much help at all from anti-depressants so I was looking at the aldult ADHD literature and wondering if a stimulant might help better order thought processes as I flit between flights of frenetic energy and activity and completely crashing. I asked about this Borderline - ADHD before but was told stimulants weren't prescribed to adults because they don't affect adults the same way they do children but they clearly are being prescribed to adults too so must be working or they wouldn't be, would they? I'm also working with a friend , providing moral support really on a PD survey of what helps and doesn't with a view to creating a site around the survey results in the New Year.  What doesn't work for me is ignoring BPD as a problem . As for Eckhart Tolle I really struggled to read \'New Earth\' for some reason, the writing style probably and it\'s still behind me on the floor somewhere , I\'ll try to pick up where I left off at some point but right now the spotless mind appeals. I\'m trying to remember the name of a short story I read years ago about a psychiatrist who helps a patient erase his past and assume a totally new identity almost like a witness protection scheme, where the witness of course is the injured psyche threatened by the ever looming past of its self.  I'm not talking about psychological flight from being a nobody a la The Talented Mr Ripley just emergence into a new identity that is a bit more socially inhabitable and survivable. But its not an option at least not literally . I read this account of the Borderline Experience earlier . Don't entirely relate to it , particularly not the anger but highlighted text rings true for me. Quote: The Borderline Experience Imagine you are faced with a minor stress - Feelings of anxiety complicate the increasing sense of uneasiness and restlessness. This may be followed by progressively worsening anger . Over the next few minutes to hours, other negative sensations creep in - including memories of past hurts - until you are experiencing virtually every bad emotion a human can feel. As I say its not so much the anger in my case - although I can and do flare at times - as that reactive escalation that converts minor life turbulence in the present into all the grief and darkness of the past .You take yourself out of the situation if you can to avoid a repetition - positive behaviour right? - but the avoidance tactics or even trying to explain where you are at are also distance you from people and having a 'normal' social life in which people seem to have a very different relationship with the past.Of course we should do all we can to combat whatever isolates us but Borderlines need a little credit too as its not like they're hanging out 'Welcome' signs for us down at the Blooming Lavender Sangha and how ordinary people function is just a different type of confrontational psychosis but fortunately for them its widely shared so they never notice.

Orlando   |2009-10-21 21:43:45 Anyone thinking of reinventing themselves to escape their past need look no further than Paul Bint who was convicted today of impersonating a top flight UK lawyer . Bint a 47 year old former hairdresser has over 500 convictions and to date has manifested 24 alter egos including an aristocrat, wealthy hotelier, policeman, property magnate, ballet dancer, peer and surgeon, a role he lived in for 12 years even down to assisting with a heart by-pass operation. Bint who has a history of childhood abuse has been described as inhabiting a fantasy world and being ' driven by a chronic inability to accept himself as he is.' He has been diagnosed as suffering from a psychopathic condition but he cannot be admitted to hospital because his condition is currently considered 'untreatable'. At one of his trials the judge recognised the real risk that 'treatment' would allow Bint to acquire further medical knowledge which could lead to him posing as a psychiatrist. Bint told the Court today that his desire to escape who he was stretched back to his troubled childhood and that he took on other identities because he cared about what others thought about him. He said the pretending made him "feel very good even though I know I am deceiving someone" explaining ,"It makes me feel very good that someone thinks I am a good person and I'm successful. Bint usually adopts a new identity within hours of being released from prison .

Dr Spock  - the mad and the bad   |2009-10-22 01:30:24 It's amazing what criminals and people with mental health problems tell us about society. Paul Bint tells us that reality is all about belief, in that respect, he's a sort of one man Stanley Milgram experiment on how gullible we are . I Googled the Bint case and was struck by how quickly this guy gets others to empathise with him, even in the Courtroom . I wonder how, in an ideal world, this man's fierce irrational intelligence and desperate need to avoid being himself could be put to better lawful use.

Dexter   |2009-10-22 01:47:11 Quote: It's amazing what criminals and people with mental health problems tell us about society. Get a grip, Bint simply tells us he's a fucking psycho criminal who should be detained indefinitely if his mental disorder can't be treated. Who cares what happened to him when he was a kid, he's all grown up now and society has the right to protect itself against him.

TTGD   |2009-10-22 02:47:29 People that have concrete goals generally don't spend a lot of time thinking about the past.

TTGD   |2009-10-22 02:51:49 If you need to start over, and want to recapture that feeling of innocence, you have to say goodbye to your memory, will your ego allow you to do that?

TTGD   |2009-10-22 02:55:38 Quote: Well I'm constantly looking for and open to solutions and to sharing what works and what doesn't what about adapting, are you capable of adapting? A lot of borderlines use the excuse, "I can't cope", as a way to stay stuck.

Helen M.   |2009-10-22 04:01:05 There are others, many others, that were tortured as children, that went on to have full, satisfying, meaningful lives. Maybe the genes are more dominant than the environment.

autotelic   |2009-10-22 04:40:00 Quote: you have to say goodbye to your memory, will your ego allow you to do that? perhaps, I think the retreat into childhood memories, whether good or bad, is because death is getting closer all the time. and the story goes, once upon a time, I too was a child.

Anonymous   |2009-10-22 04:45:35 Quote: what about adapting, are you capable of adapting? A lot of borderlines use the excuse, "I can't cope", as a way to stay stuck. I have appalling eyesight, its probably genetic and no-one would ever dream of saying I was 'stuck' because I can't see that well. I am also BPD and whether its due to genetic or environmental factors or a combination of both the fact that I am Borderline creates difficulties , if it didn't it wouldn't be a psychiatric diagnosis. Have I adapted? I've probably not adapted as well as I have with my eyesight but there again things have moved forward on acknowledging and addressing physical disability and accessibility issues as society has adapted too. Am I stuck in the BPD realm ? Well, I'm not stuck in the sense that I think ' Oh my God it was my Godgiven right in life to be a big shot doctor or lawyer ' or anything like that but I do feel stuck in respect of not being able to deal with many aspects of the basic social side of life and some chaotic thought processes that seem to be inextricably linked to toxic past experience. Is this an excuse? Only if possessing the key personality traits of the BPD diagnosis requires being excused for. Even so I'm still working on my stuckness .

autotelic   |2009-10-22 04:50:57 Quote: There are others, many others, that were tortured as children, that went on to have full, satisfying, meaningful lives. It's rather amazing, I got a very odd mix of genes, I think about the stark differences between my parents, they come from 2 different planets, and we're all scratching our heads wondering how they ever got together in the first place. My brother is not anything like me, he has his own coping style, he made the conscious choice not to let the family trauma interfere with his life, we don't have a relationship, I hear he likes to drink though....

autotelic   |2009-10-22 04:59:21 Quote: he made the conscious choice not to let the family trauma interfere with his life, I can't see into the deep recesses of his mind, but I would say that he has adapted well given the circumstances, he stayed away from psychology books too, and that's probably been more helpful than harmful.

D   |2009-10-22 05:53:28 Quote: There are others, many others, that were tortured as children, that went on to have full, satisfying, meaningful lives. Maybe the genes are more dominant than the environment. Genes are sometimes the more dominant factor in abuse and developmental trauma but not in the way you surmise as these problems often have an intergenerational aspect. One-third of child victims grow up to continue a pattern of seriously inept, neglectful, or abusive rearing as parents. One-third do not. The other one-third remain vulnerable to the effects of social stress on the likelihood of their becoming abusive. But environment can be pretty consistent too. Earlier today I posted this about trying to overcome the past . Quote: I\'m trying to remember the name of a short story I read years ago about a psychiatrist who helps a patient erase his past and assume a totally new identity almost like a witness protection scheme, where the witness of course is the injured psyche threatened by the ever looming past of its self. I later read this about Paul Bint who was convicted today. Quote: Bint who has a history of childhood abuse has been described as inhabiting a fantasy world and being ' driven by a chronic inability to accept himself as he is.' Paul Bint comes from the same small town, the same background and grew up in the same childrens home as me although I don't know him. Its just a coincidence that the story got picked up in the national media today and appeared here but the similarity of concern expresed about coping with the past isn't random. That's how impersonal but deeply impacting factors shaping the developing personality can be.

Helen  - life is good   |2009-10-22 05:55:11 people die the same way that they have lived, whatever thoughts tortured you in the past, and the present, will be magnified in old age

Julian VZ   |2009-10-22 06:01:42 Quote: ' driven by a chronic inability to accept himself as he is.' fake it till you make it..........just a little secret that most people know

D   |2009-10-22 06:18:25 Quote: he made the conscious choice not to let the family trauma interfere with his life, Your brother also physically distanced himself from the trauma , flight is often a plus as long as the damage is left behind. My step brothers and sisters who I didn't really have much contact with grew up with both their parents and they are all now balanced individuals in lasting relationships and in all but one case have kids of their own. Most of the children on my mothers side , my half brothers and sisters, grew up to have psychiatric problems. As far as I am aware I was the old one from both sets of siblings to go to college and thinking about that now I suspect this was probably because I was less social as a kid and escaped a lot into books. In retrospect, that probably didn't help. It's interesting to get an impersonal aeriel view .

Jillian   |2009-10-22 06:20:43 Quote: fake it till you make it I now see people around wearing tshirts that say 'I Am Loved'

Angie   |2009-10-22 06:33:58 Quote: whatever thoughts tortured you in the past, and the present, will be magnified in old age Whoa! I'm not so sure that necessarily follows Helen nor do I think just because life is difficult it's all bad. Ok, I may swing that way occasionally, but you're kinda pushing the extremes here rather than accepting people for how and what they are. Who isn't in some sort of fucking bind in this life? But I'll tell you one thing, they wont be in any less of a bind for us ganging up on them. Chill out and post a pic of your kids or french poodle or something .

Radioslag   |2009-10-22 06:37:34 Quote: I now see people around wearing tshirts that say 'I Am Loved' Don't worry the 'Jilted' t-shirt range will go viral in the New Year.

Bjorn   |2009-10-22 07:14:24 Hey I thought there was some really positive pushing there. Off on a wild tagent , I saw an article on the Faithworld blog about the trappist breweries in Belgium and the Netherlands having a dwindling number of monks working in them nowadays as the average age of the order is 60 and with no new blood coming in they aren't physically up to lugging barrels around and their skills are being lost. The trappists are a strict order but given the state of the world I find it incredible that there are so few takers for the contemplative monastic life. I thought they'd be turning people away.

MarinCountyHealer   |2009-10-22 14:42:20 Quote: I find it incredible that there are so few takers for the contemplative monastic life. I thought they'd be turning people away. I bet you did! Bjorn, forgive me if this is a little direct but I can't help thinking that your last comment was an unconscious attempt to encourage an exploration of a more immersive and mindful form of therapeutic community for people with the Borderline disorder, for more self-consciously socially inept individuals like you perhaps , as you constantly bring your negative experience of 'one on one' relationships and social settings to the fore on the board and freely admit untrusting, self-jeapordising and self-excluding behaviours. I think you understand only too well why one to one therapy wouldn't work for someone like you and realize what a desperate predicament this leaves you in regarding any meaningful prospect of 'self-recovery' and from your comment about the strict observances of the Trappists its clear to me as someone who routinely runs Christian growth and development groups and workshops for more often than not spiritually hesitant individuals , that you aspire to be more orderly , connected and productively immersed in the social grid but react badly to anything that seems to represent discipline or authority because in the past authorative figures have rejected, abandonded and hurt you and you're still angry and smarting from 'the slap of God' and hypervigilant in expectation of the next cosmic blow to strike from the sky. The question is, do you need to search harder for the sort of therapeutic community that will address your needs, does it exist? or do you need to do more to help create it because its so necessary for your Borderline survival and belonging.

MichaelABC  - All along the watchtower   |2009-10-22 15:47:12 Yeah, community is all! I really chilled at the Rainbow gig at Parque Venado in the Santa Fe National Forest a few months back and maybe you guys could add a feed for psychadelic news and a spot for cats who connect at festivals but then lose phone numbers. Love and light.

autotelic   |2009-10-22 16:24:43 Quote: Who isn't in some sort of fucking bind in this life? Verdad, but this also rings true, Quote: whatever thoughts tortured you in the past, and the present, will be magnified in old age Other thoughts, life quality was better before the internet, there was a time when I had 2 choices to keep myself occupied: go down by the river, or walk through the woods, the internet has muddied up our minds, and left us in a state of always wanting something more, though we can hardly articulate what that is, since so many addictions cover up the real need.

BrutalBruce   |2009-10-22 16:27:47 Quote: The question is, do you need to search harder for the sort of therapeutic community that will address your needs blah blah fucking blah I'm sorry but I despise those who encourage others to endlessly torment themselves with hope.

SteveJ   |2009-10-22 16:46:45 Quote: there was a time when I had 2 choices to keep myself occupied: go down by the river, or walk through the woods Option 3 get a Smartphone and choose all roads and work on the articulation. Posted by Blackberry

autotelic   |2009-10-22 16:37:12 Quote: I'm sorry but I despise those who encourage others to endlessly torment themselves with hope. That's why placing and answering personal ads is not something I'm going to do anymore. I would only do that again if I get to place where my ego finally lets go of memory.

MarinCountyHealer   |2009-10-22 16:45:18 Seeking happiness is not an addiction but anything we repeatedly do for pleasure that actually makes us feel unhappier probably is.

D   |2009-10-22 16:49:35 Quote: there was a time when I had 2 choices to keep myself occupied: go down by the river, or walk through the woods Why not just hit the trail? More can wait.

autotelic   |2009-10-22 20:07:48 Hitting the trail now, chock full of memory is very different then the time that I floated down the river on a raft, completely unaware that one day, memory would have the power to create illness, madness, and stagnation. I agree with the following quote: Quote: People that have concrete goals generally don't spend a lot of time thinking about the past.

D   |2009-10-23 01:57:24 Quote: Hitting the trail now, chock full of memory is very different then the time that I floated down the river on a raft, completely unaware that one day, memory would have the power to create illness, madness, and stagnation. Just remember floating down the river on that raft for now and nothing else .

Bjorn   |2009-10-23 02:44:18 autotelic, you've always described your dreams as being very vivid but are the painful memories you experience when you are awake and going about your day 'cinematic' recollections too , like virtually seeing yourself/re-experiencing 'floating down the river on a raft' or are they more like physical painful sensations and emotions that are just attached to negative events or ideas from the past or intrusive feelings of loss and regret about it?

autotelic   |2009-10-23 03:43:40 Quote: completely unaware that one day, memory would have the power to create illness, madness, and stagnation. Not only does middle age require that we let go of our old dreams, it also requires a certain amount of conformity, without a fight. Middle age is about generating new goals and ideas, without wasting time worrying about compromise, we're up against the clock, adapt, evolve, or die paralyzed. A suicidal crisis in mid-life demands action, it doesn't matter if once present passion is missing. People that have a strong desire to survive do have the potential to blend in with everyone else. You just have to believe that you're not insane, and if you're a borderline, don't tell a soul.

Jillian   |2009-10-23 03:59:08 Quote: Not only does middle age require that we let go of our old dreams, it also requires a certain amount of conformity, without a fight. You mean believing, and giving the impression that everything is going to be alright, cause we're adults?

Anonymous   |2009-10-23 03:59:08 Quote: Not only does middle age require that we let go of our old dreams, italso requires a certain amount of conformity, without a fight. It does more , it requires the generation of new dreams but the world is never fightless , even conforming can be a struggle.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-23 04:07:22 Say goodbye to Hollywood and hello to bourgeois conformity.

Julian VZ   |2009-10-23 04:16:00 ....lifeisbrutallycompliant? Time for a pic on ' beyond the mid-life crisis'

Sarah   |2009-10-23 05:44:03 You're not the first person to have a mid-life crisis, most middle aged people quietly let go of yesterday's losses, recognizing it as a natural part of the life cycle, and any gains that were made in previous years continue to be cultivated. I know it sounds like a simple formula, the key is to let go, and start over with what you already know. It's a time to try new things, keep building your career, and if possible, spread joy wherever you go.

sarah   |2009-10-23 05:48:12 .....it's also a good time to forgive everyone. Some of the most peaceful people I know are those that were neglected by their parents growing up, and are now taking care of those very same parents that are sick, old, and dying.

sarah   |2009-10-23 05:51:52 harboring old grudges is probably the worst thing you can do when you're having a mid life crisis

sarah   |2009-10-23 06:03:33 you have to view mid life as a time that you plan on taking advantage of, otherwise it will defeat you.

vinny  - law of attraction   |2009-10-23 06:05:19 I am sane. I am beautiful. I am joyful. ....sign me up for success

Vinny   |2009-10-23 06:08:24 Hopelessness be gone. Life is meaningful. I embody a purpose driven life.

autotelic   |2009-10-23 06:15:53 Quote: harboring old grudges is probably the worst thing you can do when you're having a mid life crisis that's probably because those old grudges come to the surface at this time, and that's why it's so important to try and let them go. It's like, "Oh shit, I'm getting old, close to death, and I have such a low opinion of my fellow humans." It does not make for inner peace, I know.

autotelic   |2009-10-23 06:28:02 Quote: I am sane. I am beautiful. I am joyful. Sounds like a good ad for craigslist, I bet faking it till you make it easier than we think.......at least it's a way to get a foot in the door, and then after that, just deal with the now, I'm not disclosing anymore information about my past if I ever go on a date again. "I was born in upstate NY. I lived in front of  river and behind the woods." That's my entire history.

Dr Spock   |2009-10-23 14:26:40 Quote: "Oh shit, I'm getting old, close to death, and I have such a low opinion of my fellow humans." Not to mention the regrets....

BoredtoDeath   |2009-10-23 14:36:09 Quote: you have to view mid life as a time that you plan on taking advantage of, otherwise it will defeat you. It might have helped if Jesus had hung around long enough to experience mid life crisis and set an example for ageing gracefully.

RuthLister  - Rite of Passage   |2009-10-23 15:01:14 The 'mid life crisis ' is nothing more than the perfectly natural decline in social status and self esteem that marks ones entry into the unobserved life . Spend more time with the grandchildren, get out more.

Otto   |2009-10-23 15:13:51 Fuck off Ruth! The mid life crisis is probably an evolutionary hangover of our early ancestors mortal animal fears that they were going to be preyed upon and eaten by their own offspring if they didn't force them out of the cave to fend for themselves.

TTGD   |2009-10-23 15:52:37 Quote: you have to view mid life as a time that you plan on taking advantage of, otherwise it will defeat you. If you don't have any tools in your toolbox by the time you reach midlife, you need to review your past, and ask yourself why you didn't equip yourself for the time that has finally arrived, and in need of tools.

TTGD   |2009-10-23 16:05:05 People say and do a lot of desperate things when they don't know how to just be with the groundlessness of their reality. autotelic said: Quote: I'm not disclosing anymore information about my past if I ever go on a date again. People say this kind of stuff all the time, as a way to get control over things that they once had no control over. But if you're concerned about clutching onto security for dear life in middle age, I would say that wearing the mask of sanity can only be to your advantage.

Dr Spock   |2009-10-23 16:15:50 Quote: If you don't have any tools in your toolbox by the time you reach midlife, you need to review your past, and ask yourself why you didn't equip yourself for the time that has finally arrived, and in need of tools. That sudden rushing and giddying realization of total unpreparedness for mid life is the crisis so dwelling on the reasons for one's unpreparedness isn't going to help much. A more productive use of time would be to immediately focus on aquiring substitute tools and new skills to make the best job of it one can.

autotelic   |2009-10-23 16:25:37 Quote: But if you're concerned about clutching onto security for dear life in middle age, I would say that wearing the mask of sanity can only be to your advantage I agree, time to join the gnawing stomping stampede.

Bjorn   |2009-10-23 17:17:03 With average life expectancy for children born now thought to be 100 and science poised to stop the clock of the physical and mental ageing processes at around age 50 within the next 30 years how long is the average mid life crisis of the future going to last for? and what of those who are the first to see others benefit from these developments but are too old to use them to rejuvenate themselves? Are they going to feel doubly cursed?

jillian   |2009-10-23 16:34:05 I wonder how many women regret fucking up relationships with men that had money? Losing out on financial stability is my only one real regret in life. I had about 5 different opportunities in my life to say goodbye to the groundless existence. ....Should I ever meet a man with money again, I'm wearing the mask of sanity too. I have a background in theater. WTF is wrong with me for not taking advantage of it??????

Vinny   |2009-10-23 16:37:22 Quote: With average life expectancy for children born now thought to be 100 What a fucking nightmare, that's an awful lot of time for people to squirm and scheme over the issue of comfortable survival.

Anonymous   |2009-10-23 17:19:01 In my lifetime new technology has enabled almost anyone to record , track and pry into every last bit of information about our lives but it has done nothing to help us forget. Fuck the mask of sanity, the mask of eternal ignorance would do me.

Angie   |2009-10-23 17:42:26 High net-worth males tend to be really fucking suspicious of women who wear the mask of grounded sanity , the mask of the less worldly younger woman would probably stand you in better stead with them and you've still naturally got one of those so calm down Jillian, its not full on crisis time just yet.

Helen   |2009-10-23 17:51:03 Quote: High net-worth males tend to be really fucking suspicious of women who wear the mask of grounded sanity not true

Helen RT   |2009-10-23 17:54:12 divorce is never traumatic if you walk away with alimony money

Angie   |2009-10-23 17:59:49 Ok Helen, point taken, that should have read Quote: High net-worth males tend to be really fucking suspicious of women who wear the mask of grounded sanity unless its a mask that betrays that they come from good reliable child rearing stock and/or a cultured moneyed background as well.

JessNorthShore   |2009-10-23 21:28:21 The happy conformists in society , and we're the silent majority by the way , have been much maligned by a dim-witted but highly organised and vocal minority . In view of the 'Lifisbrutallyunfair' website title could we at least have a little more fairness on this board? Please!

autotelic   |2009-10-24 05:42:32 Once again, I stand on stage naked. I need to correct something I said a few blogs back. I think I actually had the nerve to say that I no longer have an ego, or that there was never any fertile ground for me to develop an ego in the first place. I was mistaken. I'm now willing to admit that I spent the last 40 years building a grand temple to ego. I can tell you all about the ins, outs, and in betweens of ego, BUT, I'm not sure that I know how to tear it down once and for all. Everything I have ever done or said has been coming from a place of ego, as true or as right as I have been, it's all been based on ego. All my contradictions, and causes, regardless of how righteous they appear, are based on ego. Have I finally earned the right to call myself Saint Karen? Oops, that's my ego asking. I have no idea who I am without my ego.

Julian VZ  - LMFAO!   |2009-10-24 06:11:35 Quote: Everything I have ever done or said has been coming from a place of ego, as true or as right as I have been, it's all been based on ego. very funny, it's just like when you say that all of your projections are based on insight and true consciousness.......it's hard to argue with ego! It's cool that you can admit this so freely. I see the headline: Saint Karen Confesses That's She's Been A False Prophet For The Last 40 Years But where are you going to go with this? You might need help from others dismantling your "grand temple" of ego.

sarah   |2009-10-24 06:22:08 Just admitting that this entire website is nothing more than a playground for ego "might" cut down on the non-stop tension around here. Maybe.

autotelic   |2009-10-24 06:33:20 yeah well, I'm having a real relationship with myself, I can pinpoint my shenpa in a way that no partner ever could. yes, you are listening to the voice of ego. I don't want to have to preface everything I say with the previous statement, but if you're observant enough, you'll be able sense my ego in all of the words that come out of my mouth. (........looks like I'll be sticking to my own style of doing things while trying to tackle this problem.)

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-24 07:11:50 Quote: yes, you are listening to the voice of ego. I don't want to have to preface everything I say with the previous statement, but if you're observant enough, you'll be able sense my ego in all of the words that come out of my mouth. I admire your honesty . You know, there are times when I've been able to sense your ego in the words that have come out of my mouth .

Vinny   |2009-10-24 07:14:42 Quote: it's hard to argue with ego! Groundbreaking!

KM   |2009-10-24 07:24:54 Grand temple of ego!!! autotelic? OMG! Am I dreaming or have I logged on to a spoofed site?

Anonymous   |2009-10-24 07:29:40 Quote: Everything I have ever done or said has been coming from a place of ego, as true or as right as I have been, it's all been based on ego. hmmm, I want to tear this quote apart, but I don't know how. Can anyone else figure out what's wrong with this "truth"? Is she saying that from the standpoint of ego everything she's ever said has been justified and "true" in its own right?

Bjorn   |2009-10-24 07:48:46 Quote: yeah well, I'm having a real relationship with myself, I can pinpoint my shenpa in a way that no partner ever could. My life has been one long fucking battle coming to terms with my triggers and hypervigilance as well, there's no escaping ourselves that's for sure.

Bjorn   |2009-10-24 08:55:34 Quote: hmmm, I want to tear this quote apart, but I don't know how. Can anyone else figure out what's wrong with this "truth"? Is she saying that from the standpoint of ego everything she's ever said has been justified and "true" in its own right? It's not really important what autotelic meant anon, what's important is that we develop an awareness of our own addictions and shenpa and to that end we are trialing a dedicated prajna routine we've coded in to the backend of the site that helps people do this by isolating suspect words, sentences and , clauses and basically anything that smacks of excessive critical thinking or other compulsive beviours in the comments posted here . It's still in beta so bear with us.

Scott   |2009-10-24 10:27:48 Quote: I have no idea who I am without my ego. Fucking hell!, not that interminable 'who or what am I?' philosophical claptrap here as well! TM was right, you people are nothing out of the ordinary.

thriftstoregal  - Thanks   |2009-10-24 13:27:52 Quote: yeah well, I'm having a real relationship with myself, I can pinpoint my shenpa in a way that no partner ever could. I'm so relieved to read this! I thought I was a freak for getting more pleasure from masturbating than having sex with guys. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy full on sex with my current boyfriend but it's like I know my body too well and he, well, all the guys I've known really, they just don't get it no matter how many times I take the lead to show them. Maybe it's a physical thing, like, where's its at, it's awkward , I've never really compared with other girls or heard it described as a shenpa before. Whatever , I'm glad I'm not the only one as I always felt I was just being a selfish bitch and I'm so grateful to you that I can now finally get over that crap and really let go.

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-24 13:28:34 Quote: (........looks like I'll be sticking to my own style of doing things while trying to tackle this problem.) Ditch the ego if you must but please don't consciously change your style autotelic as it's what I like most about you . And for what it's worth, your ego isn't a problem for me and never has been grand temple sized or not.

autotelic   |2009-10-24 15:26:28 Quote: you people are nothing out of the ordinary. exactly, we are nothing out of the ordinary at all.

autotelic   |2009-10-24 15:36:07 and realizing the ordinariness of human suffering makes the perception of painful separateness very suspect.

Anonymous   |2009-10-24 16:06:04 Quote: exactly, we are nothing out of the ordinary at all. what a relief!

autotelic   |2009-10-24 16:19:20 Quote: please don't consciously change your style autotelic I'm no longer going to bash others for not knowing how to recognize that their egos control every aspect of their lives. But I will use myself as an example when making reference to ego. For example: suicidal ideation, negativity, selfishness, anger, fear, isolation, envy, hatred, and yes, even the burning need for justice, have all been ego orchestrated thoughts that have created painful feelings within myself for the past 40 years.

Bjorn   |2009-10-24 17:15:45 Now that you've grasped the ultimate nature of reality do you think we should upgrade to Joomla Dukkha-lite?

The Chimp   |2009-10-25 03:23:34 Well I don't know about the objective truth of any one religion over another but most other animals on the planet have certainly endured a life of suffering since you humans decided you had immortal souls and we didn't.

D   |2009-10-25 15:19:05 Morrissey collapsed on stage during a gig in the UK last night .The initial report was that he was unconscious and experiencing breathing difficulties but the hospital he was taken to has said the singer was conscious when he arrived there but 'unwell' and described his condition as 'stable'. Morrissey was performing 'This Charming Man' at the time of his collapse.

Anonymous  - Morrissey   |2009-10-25 15:45:04 "I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear."

JohnnyM   |2009-10-25 17:46:18 It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care but he's now back at home apparently, quietly processing the horror of it all for his next big hit. Expect a lyric or two about the totally wasted effort of dying in front of an unsatisfiable audience.

Jayne   |2009-10-26 00:38:46 Morrissey is going to die unsatisfied in front of a mirror.

Anonymous   |2009-10-26 04:10:08 Lets just wait and see. Morrissey has always let life lead him and I'm sure he will respond to this situation in his own unique artistic way without compromising himself or conceding a fucking inch to his critics. He's been at this game for over 30 years and is considered by many to be the greatest lyricist in the history of British popular music. He's also acutely aware he's ageing in a business that cruelly demands perpetual youth. I suspect we'll see Morrissey's autobiography published sooner rather than later now and that he'll somehow carve out a new radically creative role for himself , perhaps even beyond the world of music , that doesn't rely so much on physicality. Forget all about dying , Morrissey has endured and I have every faith in his ability to overcome ....and yours.

LevitatingCreep  - sweet misery   |2009-10-26 13:42:57 Quelle horreur! Morrissey's burden certainly puts the evils and hardships of war, hunger and poverty into perspective.

autotelic   |2009-10-26 14:41:44 Negativity is very witty and clever, but it's never intelligent. I overdeveloped the wrong muscle all these years (the ego) without realizing it till recently. Many signs and events happened over the last 12 months that led to this discovery. I hope that no one here takes offense that I want to be careful about what I think and say from now on.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-26 15:14:51 Quote: I hope that no one here takes offense that I want to be careful about what I think and say from now on. as long as your ego doesn't try to prevent others from saying what they want, there shouldn't be any problems with dialogue.

P.E.H   |2009-10-26 20:26:35 Actions speak louder than words.

MarinCountyHealer   |2009-10-27 12:12:33 Quote: I overdeveloped the wrong muscle all these years (the ego) without realizing it till recently. Nowadays the majority of people experiencing depression or other enduring psychological problems rely on prescription medication and/or  standard professional psychotherapy to deal with them but we are seeing more and more people turn towards faith based approaches embedded within the self-help movement to provide a more holistic way to deal with the mental habits and attitudes that they feel are holding back their personal growth and spiritual development. Within six blocks of our Christian healing workshop space there is a Kabala Spiritual Healing centre, a Tao healing centre and retreat, a Zen Self Realization Meditation and Wellbeing Centre, a Sikh Temple that offers spiritual Healing services , a Sufi Healing and Treatment centre , a Santeria Spiritual Healing group and a gaggle of other wellbeing focused faith based centres and retreats that bear witness to this subtle merging of religion and self help. A hundred years ago,  geography and one's parents beliefs dictated which religious teachings people were exposed to and would take up with a plodding predictability. It seemed Gods recognised international borders. Today in most US cities there is a thriving market in faith based approaches to healing , particularly the more intelectualised approaches that focus on personal spiritual development for people who already have leanings in that direction and who are confused and sometimes pretty distressed by many aspects of modern life.   And when these approaches work for people that's it, they just do, irrespective of whether people see their problems as caused by sin, ego, bad luck, genes, the environment we grew up in , a lack of focused spiritual belief or the result of a witchdoctors curse . I dont have a problem with ego being considered responsible for everything that happens to us and hope none of you have a problem with me believing our relationship to Jesus Christ is responsible for everything that happens to us too.

Frank   |2009-10-27 01:53:59 Jesus wore sandals Marin, I could never do that. really, no self-respecting Jew could, even a lapsed one.

Anonymous   |2009-10-27 02:24:08 Quote: Negativity is very witty and clever, but it's never intelligent. Who holds the monopoly on intelligence then?

Anonymous   |2009-10-27 02:49:03 Quote: Who holds the monopoly on intelligence then? The Guardians of Knowledge but watch out as they make the Rogue Incinerators look like the Samaritans. Actually I agree that negativity should be verboten on the site as I'm sure anything negative can be expressed in a more positive, constructive and happier way.

D   |2009-10-27 03:31:19 There is no offence taken here at all but maybe this site has served its purpose as contributors move on to their next stepping stones. Whatever the impact of the site now it was originally conceived and set up - as perverse as it may seem now - to help people through the day in some way and if it no longer does that it's a stepping stone in the wrong direction . I don't know how other contributors feel about this. There was a sort of shared vision of where this site was at when it was started . I'm not change adverse I'm just wondering aloud if this site is any help at all now.

Bjorn   |2009-10-27 04:37:07 Too weird . I'm just reading this book on memes - Virus of the Mind - that questions how we get infected by viruses of the mind and explains how we disinfect ourselves of the worst and re-program ourselves with better ones. Easier said than done...but I'm still reading . I have always understood why Nietzsche struggled so hard to form his own views against the prevailing norms, values and beliefs of his time but it's obvious it didn't make him any happier or more trusting. If only he'd settled for less....meekly said ' Yes' a few more times instead of always shouting 'No!'. Was he capable of that? It seems to me that all the grand explanations of existence are basically circular and rely on fear and sophistry to perpetuate themselves. It doesn't take memetics to figure that one out but whats the alternative to signing up to one of these grand explanations or a variant of it? Brute materialist atheism?  Zizek makes a good argument for atheists being the true believers and the fervent believers constructing their faith around a kernel of well concealed doubt. What to believe? Whether the whole show is devoid of any objective meaning or was created by some higher entity if we ever got absolute proof , either way, we'd probably go  mad. Faith is professing to know why we're here but being spared the awful fucking crushing certainty. Becker clearly saw the need for us to place great faith in something outside of ourselves and yet the moment we feel we have aquired faith we become as jealous of the gods to protect that kernel of doubt.... What to believe? What can I convince myself to believe in today? 'Hello World.' Words. Feelings. Nothingness.  .. ..More memes.

ThePleasantvilleKid   |2009-10-27 11:22:44 I just watched the first four shows from the fifth series of Smallville and compared to the earlier series the storylines are just getting harder to believe ....even as fiction. That said there are a lot of things I believe in that I've probably never questioned nor ever will. Like the idea that 'We should try to do good rather than harm'... and to be honest the 'should we fake it to make it' poll threw me too. I spoke to an aquaintance earlier, although not specifically about the poll, and he was pretty adamant that it was ok to be ruthless to get ahead or what we want on the grounds that we are only here for such a short time and we should snatch at every opportunity to advance ourselves . Maybe... but that doesn't sit well with me. I know his is the intelligent approach too. I guess I think too much like ' What would Clark Kent do?' I suppose when I was younger I bought into the idea that grown up big people were superheroes. I wasn't really discouraged from doing that at the time.It's not negative to expect people to be better or at least to try to be. Sometimes people will duck the moral aspect altogether and reduce it do an irrelevance but then ever so subtly re-introduce another form of good and bad and what its right and wrong to do.

Anti-Climaticus   |2009-10-27 10:52:28 Is your friend called Lex?

Dr Spock   |2009-10-27 11:25:10 The 'What would Clark Kent do? approach isn't so crazy , you do have some powers that have the potential to influence things positively , negatively and neutrally - although no exact way of controlling any outcome - and you probably already have some conscious system in place to decide how to use what powers you have properly unless of course you are just responding to events randomely or reacting habitually without thinking through the consequences of your actions at all. The fictional character Clark Kent has to be acutely aware of what he does because he has superhuman powers he can't afford to ignore or forget about but that's no reason to believe that spending more time thinking about what we do, how we do it and why we do what we do should be best left to Superman.

Anti-Climaticus   |2009-10-27 11:49:43 Clark Kent's whole life revolves around subterfuge. He's the ultimate fake, a kid who was brought up by his adoptive parents to lie.

Angie   |2009-10-27 11:40:57 Enough of Smallville already! I can't stand that fucking show and what's any of this got to do with Pema Chodron anyway?

P.E.H   |2009-10-27 13:00:43 What's the first thing you think and do when you wake up at 6.00 in the morning? Answers through our contact page e-mail please.

Bjorn  - Facebook Finally Acknowledges Death   |2009-10-27 12:54:39 Yes its official, social networking behemoth Facebook is to finally acknowlege that some of its reported 300 million active users are, eh, dead with a new dead cool profile privacy setting. Facebook has announced that it will now be giving friends and family the option to "memorialise" the profiles of members who have died. It follows some cases of concerned members receiving updates about their dead friends and loved ones. Now if a user is officially reported to Facebook as deceased ( I know, I know, I'm getting flashbacks of the Monty Python Parrot sketch too ...) Facebook will remove sensitive information such as status updates and contacts. When reporting a death Facebook members must offer "proof" by submitting either an obituary or news article and you can be sure that this system is going to miserably fail and be abused to boot with some dead people not being considered dead enough to make the cut for a memorialised profile and even more live members having to announce to their friends probably via Twitter if Facebook has respectfully locked down their accounts in memorium that news of their death has been greatly exagerated. "When someone leaves us, they don't leave our memories or our social network," Max Kelly, head of security at the firm, wrote in the official Facebook blog. Personally I wouldn't be seen dead on Facebook under any circumstances but thats just me.

Anonymous   |2009-10-27 13:12:32 To take a bit of the puff out of Microsoft's corporate sales of 'Windows 7' Ubuntu have released their latest version of their freebie Open Source Operating System Ubuntu 9.10 codenamed Karmic Koala. If you're in the market for an easy to use and evironmentally sound , stable and righteous OS with access to oodles of Open Source software this is it.

LevitatingCreep   |2009-10-27 13:48:32 If Facebook is offering new profile settings maybe we could too. An opt in profile based setting showing if users were in stealth ' unconscious consciousness ' mode or not would be great but there could be real privacy issues . At the moment only the admins have access to this information .

autotelic   |2009-10-27 14:06:34 Quote: Who holds the monopoly on intelligence then? Eckhart Tolle

autotelic   |2009-10-27 14:09:11 Quote: Jesus wore sandals Marin, I could never do that My ego will never surrender to birkenstocks either.

autotelic  - the pain body   |2009-10-27 14:28:18 Quote: I have always understood why Nietzsche struggled so hard to form his own views against the prevailing norms, values and beliefs of his time but it's obvious it didn't make him any happier or more trusting. If only he'd settled for less....meekly said ' Yes' a few more times instead of always shouting 'No!'. I have taken suffering and negativity as far as I can, and all of my comments on this site have been so helpful at allowing me see that I have a responsibility to myself to try and morph into a new form. Of course loneliness and darkness are still present, I just don't think it's a wise use of my energy to feed into the negativity anymore. It will take hard work and commitment for me to hold my tongue, and think before I speak, but I know that non-stop complaining is not going to liberate me from prison-mind. I discovered this at 40, some people learn earlier, some later.

A disgruntled Goat   |2009-10-27 17:57:41 Facebook immortality - death comes of age in cyberspace.