Stations of the Cross
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Saturday, 22 March 2008

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It was Good Friday morning in Oxford Street,  London

About 7.45 to 8.00 am

The time of executions

Lord knows, I was lost and hungry

And maybe looking for a Sign

Any sign

And there he was

The guy with Jesus's face

Leaning against the far wall

Swaying from sleeplessness

Rocking in and out of consciousness

I thought

'Fuck, he's still being crucified'

We all are.

But I wanted to take a picture.

As he was so Christlike.

I wanted to cry.

But he was so tired I didnt want to further upset him

Pointing my camera.

So I took a clandestine shot.

I felt guilty.

The guy was clearly distressed and there was I pointing a camera at him.

I thought

I must give him some money

For drugs or booze or whatever

This Christlike figure needed a break

So I counted out my change

And wrapped about 10 dollars up in a tissue to give him

So no one else would see

Then as I stared at his Christlike face

I thought what happens if I have it wrong

And he's not homeless and poor

But offended by my offer.

I was also thinking

What if nothing is real

And reality is just sometinmg projected

Within a couple of metres around me

How would we know? 

So I sat there rubbing the coins in my hand

Till it hurt 

And thinking

We all have recycled faces

There are only so many 

This guy just looked like the Son of God

But I got the courage up in the end

And walked past the expressionless black woman

Sitting opposite me gazing at nothing

And walked up to Jesus.

'This is for you ' I said , pushing the money towards him

He took it with bleeding hands

And his voice cracked as he said

Thank You

 

I am ashamed to exist in this world.  

 

 

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